Evynn is my "No, me!" girl. As a typical 2 year old, she likes to do everything on her own, maybe because she enjoys the attention when she does it right. Like most of us. Her favorite thing to do when we are leaving the gym is to walk on the curb. It's a few inches off the ground and she is getting better. But she is still pretty wobbly and I have to grab her after just a few seconds after saying "No, me!" before she falls . Tuesday, she tried again and after failing, she allowed me to assist her by taking the very tiniest tip of one of my fingers. She still wobbled and I grabbed her before she fell. Then she took my whole hand and was able to walk pretty straight and pretty fast toward her goal. But when she took both of my hands, my child ran.

Yesterday, I waited for an hour and a half for our lawyer to call me to start the hearing via teleconference for Rhyan's bilateral. After an hour and a half of what felt like pure torture and continuous praying, we finally tracked someone down to tell us what was going on. They had lost my contact information and the hearing went on without me. I was so disappointed. I was angry. This was my chance to speak on Rhyan's behalf and I felt like I was robbed of my only opportunity. Our lawyer represented us, and I'm sure she did a great job, but they didn't hear me. The good news is, however, that the insurance company didn't participate either and the panel listening to the case were very upset by that. That is definitely in our favor. Our lawyer said that she would be very surprised if they didn't rule in our favor.

I was talking with a friend yesterday and we were discussing what God's intentions were, why I wasn't able to attend. I don't know if we figured out the right answer, or if there are several. But, I do know that He didn't need me to be involved. He can do this without me. And I know that if I would have presented, I would have been feeling more confident now and wouldn't have been praying nearly as much as I am now. And I have been praying.

Like Evynn, I am a 'No, me!' girl when I desperately need to be a 'Yes, You' girl. This morning I heard Him whisper to my heart, 'take My hands, child.' I have such a hard time with that sometimes and it seems I need to be continuously reminded. So, every moment I will surrender to Him. I won't just take the smallest tip of His finger, I won't just take one hand. I will take both hands and I will run straight toward the goal.

Evynn finishes walking on the curb with a great leap at the end, still clutching my hands so she soars. I'll let you know when we hear the decision and I just know that it will be followed by a great leap. We'll still be clutching His hands, and we will soar.

Much love, Courtney