I had just gotten off the phone with the home schooling people and dialed Matt’s number. I had it all planned out in my head. If we ordered the curriculum within the month, we’d save $50 on shipping. I was ready to pull the trigger and embark on a new life as a home schooling mama.

Every time I mentioned that I wanted to home school, others would ask me why. I know that the majority of the reason is because of my experience growing up. My life was a complete mess all throughout school. I was bullied, rejected and exposed to things I shouldn’t have been. And I refuse to have my child go through that. Bottom line. On top of that bottom line, however, is a whole other host of reasons that Rhyan is better off in my care. School shootings, crazy FCAT turmoil, mean girls, evolution, and on and on.

My credit card was out and I had Matt on the phone to get permission to use it. Just that easy. But, my ever-patient, non-spontaneous husband said ‘Let’s just wait a little while and see what happens. We have all summer to decide.’

That evening, we went to Rhyan’s first play. It was the play that tendered my heart just a little more. Three hearing impaired kids had speaking parts and it did everything to make me understand that Rhyan’s teacher this year, like her two teachers in the past, has done so much to alter her future for the better. When I got home that night, I immediately wrote Rhyan’s teacher and principal and told them exactly that. Mrs. Downs is the teacher of the year for all the right reasons. If only she would be Rhyan’s teacher forever….

So, last week we got a letter home saying that Mrs. Downs is looping up to 2nd grade. Rhyan will have the privilege of having Mrs. Downs as her teacher again next year, and our decision to home school is on hold. Thank you, Jesus, for answered prayers. Thank you, Lord, for such a clearly lit path. So many times, the answers aren’t so easy to see. It’s wonderful on those occasions when they are.

Today I talked with one of Rhyan’s hearing teachers and told her that we aren’t going to home school next year for obvious reasons. She asked me why it was so important to home school at all, and I gave her my litany of reasons stated above. She said that while I want Rhyan out of the school system so other children don’t influence her, she said she wants Rhyan in the school system to influence others. Wow. And in that one moment I was able to see the other side. I wasn’t strong in my faith as a child. I was timid and I simply flailed about searching for something to ground me. That’s not Rhyan.

Rhyan’s teacher continued to tell me of how Rhyan came to her and told her that a little boy was angry with her because she kept mentioning Jesus. And then she said, “I guess I’ll just have to wait until God talks to his heart.’

No, Rhyan is not me. And instead of taking her out of school system because of how it might change her, I need to see the limitless possibilities of how she will change it.