Rhyan and I were spending those precious last moments together before bedtime. Rhy had just closed the book we were reading, that included a section on a seeing-eye dog, when I asked her if she knew what it meant to be blind. She immediately told me that it meant someone can’t see. Then, without hesitation, I asked her if she knew what ‘deaf’ meant. As the words came out of my mouth, I wanted to pull them back in. This was something Matt and I had discussed several times, and the fact that I mentioned it without talking to him spiked my heartbeat. We are a unified front and I felt like I just knocked him out of one of the most important conversations of a life time.

The question hung in the air and my sweet little girl was just staring at me. She didn’t have any idea what ‘deaf’ meant. I carried on, still feeling a bit like I was betraying her daddy. I said to her, ‘Deaf is when someone can’t hear. Baby, you’re deaf.’

Rhyan processed that for a second and then said, ‘Oh! I used to be deaf. Because I can hear now.’ I explained that she is still deaf and will always be deaf, but the implant helps her hear. And then I told her that being deaf is something she should be proud of, and that we are proud of her. It’s a part of who she is and it’s part of what makes her so amazing.

Later that night, I told Matt what I done. He looked like he was replaying our past conversations in his head about how we don’t want to make her feel different. If she doesn’t realize she can’t hear, then why tell her. And in one instant, it was so clear. I didn’t want her to be 10 or 12 years old and have someone else tell her that she’s deaf. Or, worse, have a mean kid say it in an ugly way.

And ‘deaf’ is a beautiful word. It’s the word that brought me closer to my family. It’s the word that brought me closer to my Jesus. It’s the word that gave me purpose in this world. It’s the word that keeps me fighting for what’s right for my children. It’s the word that will set Rhyan apart to become one of the most phenomenal adults this world has ever seen. And we want her to know it.