Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I could see she was afraid. She walked the staircase and faltered as she searched for her place on stage. She was discouraged, anxious and overwhelmed as she opened her manuscript and filed through to her locate her lines. My heart was breaking for her and I wanted so much to climb onto the stage and take away her fear. Her friend next to her helped her open to the correct page and she looked up to find us in the audience. Before we left for the play that night, she told me again and again that she didn’t want to do it. She didn’t know her lines and she thought she was going to embarrass herself. I told her that she had a responsibility to keep her word to the director, and that it would take courage I knew she possessed. I was watching courage unfold.

As the play began, I leaned forward in my seat and stared at her, refusing to move my eyes from her face. Whenever she looked at me, I wanted her to see me looking back at her with a smile and a sign of encouragement. They sang their first song and my Mommy ears distinguished her voice from the others. I wanted to yell to every person there “You’re witnessing a miracle. She shouldn’t be able to do this. She’s not supposed to be able to sing.” When she walked up to the microphone to deliver her lines, I was consumed with emotion and the tears filled my eyes and overflowed. When the show ended, Rhyan ran down the steps into my open arms, I held her as I tight as I could and said, “Oh, my Love, I’m so proud of you. So, so proud.”

After Rhyan’s Race in September, I searched for my place on the stage of my life. I told God again and again, that I didn’t want to do it anymore. I was discouraged, anxious and overwhelmed. I felt like I was under the spotlight and I couldn’t find my lines. Thankfully, I had a friend that stood next to me and helped me open to the right page. God helped me find my words. And even as I begged Him to help me find another purpose, I knew as I did from the beginning that Rhyan’s Hope is my destiny.

As Christmas approaches we don’t just focus on the birth of Jesus Christ. We focus on His life. As He left the manger and grew into a young man, He followed in His daddy’s trade as a carpenter. I wonder what He thought when He wrapped His fingers around the handle and felt the weight of the hammer. Did He flip through the pages of His holy script to the final scenes every time that hammer would strike a nail? He too begged God to find another way to fulfill His purpose. But because He didn’t give up, He not only saved this world, but He gave us an unmatched example of how one carries on when everything in them wants to quit.

I write this knowing that each and every one of us has a divine manuscript for this life. Whether we know for sure what it is or we’re still searching, we all have a purpose. We all have to make the decision to quit or be brave and live it out. As this year closes, I want to find my place again and carry on with courage. I want to be able to fumble and lose my place, knowing that He distinguishes my voice from His other children. And He will never take His eyes off me, not for a second, always smiling and giving me signs of encouragement.

And when this life is over and my curtain closes, my greatest desire of all is to run off the stage into my Father’s embrace, feel His tears on my cheek and hear Him say, ‘My Beloved, I’m so proud of you. So, so proud.”

From all of us at Rhyan’s Hope, we wish you a beautiful Christmas and inspiration in the New Year.

Rhyan's Hope, President

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to provide a HOPE and a future."